The Consequences of Education

I've been thinking quite a bit about what we are and do.

Right after DomCon last year, I addressed a human sexuality class at Portland State. After the class, a handful of students remained to talk, thank me, and look at my gear. But then one, during our conversation, challenged me: "Isn't that abuse? A healthy relationship is between equals."

I was honestly a little startled. I offered that, in any relationship, there are many inequalities - disposition, skillset, income, etc. - but good relationships are complementary arrangements. I cook, my partner washes up, I take responsibility for him, he obeys my authority.

What particularly struck me was that this question was lobbed at me from a self-admitted dominant-personality woman. I could see the wheels turning as she quickly conceded my points, yet she clung to "agree to disagree". She seemed conflicted, caught between what she had been taught and what she, perhaps, intuitively understood. Any domme who's worked with m/f couples, training the woman to dominate, has seen this struggle. I wonder what her internal dialogue was like in those next few days...